Welcome
Welcome to <strong>novelnovicetwilight</strong>.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free, so please, <a href="/profile.php?mode=register">join our community today</a>!

Teenage love, what's unhealthy?

Do you think there is any part of Bella and Edward's relationship that is unhealthy, especially for a teenager like Bella? Is Edward a tad bit controlling? What are the negative side effects of their relationship, if any?

Teenage love, what's unhealthy?

Postby LupsandTnks on Wed Jun 18, 2008 5:50 pm

I do think he's a bit over controlling. He always has to know where she is. He's over protective. Jacob let her ride without a helmet, let her breathe, but Edward can't seem to leave her alone for one moment. I guess anyone who is with Edward wouldn't want him to leave.
Bella is still a teenager and Edward is 108 years old. He's been waiting so long for his true love, but for Bella it just dropped in her lap. She hasn't had time to be alone yet. Edward seems to think that she's been alive for so long-- metaphorically an old soul.
And, Edward never gets mad at her. It makes me so angry. There are times when he should get mad, but he always blames himself for everything SHE does wrong. Like when Bella kisses Jacob at the end of Eclipse, he blames himself later on in the tent. I think that they have to come to a disagreement at one point, but they don't. This is unhealthy. If she went and killed a city of humans, he'd probably find someway to blame himself!
Kellan Lutz :"I Love Gummie Bears and I want everyone to think of Emmett as they chew on those gummie little guys if and when they do. Brush your teeth afterwards though, no cavities"

My totally awesome Twilight site: www.lupsandtnks.blogspot.com
LupsandTnks
 
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 10:11 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Twilight.Music.Love.<3 on Wed Jun 18, 2008 6:13 pm

I kinda agree with LupsandTnks, he is controlling but its probably because hes waited 108 years to find her, and the reason i think he blames himself is because if she wouldnt have met him, he thinks none of the bad things would have happened, I think its unhealthy for Edward because he thinks its always his fault, when Bella knows its hers and she wants him to be mad at her, but i still think Bella and Edward belong together! =]
Twilight.Music.Love.<3
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:23 am

Postby RaeofDarkness on Wed Jun 18, 2008 9:18 pm

I agree that Edward blames too much on himself. And I kind of agree that they need to get in some sort of fight or something, because the constant thing they do is really, really annoying sometimes.

Also, I kinda am irked by Edward staying overnight at Bella's. I think it's a sin or something...I don't know. But that's just me, and then when Bella wants that One Human Experience...
I'm just 11, the thought is kind of disgusting.
But that's just me.
RaeofDarkness
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:09 pm
Location: SOMEWHERE, CA, USA

Postby KoriLovesTwilightALot on Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:48 am

Oh gosh, 11!!! Yes, you are very right, what Bella wants, out of wedlock, is wrong, and don't ever let anyone try to tell you differently!!!

Mmkay, with that out of the way:

YES, Edward is controlling. However, Bella seems to work fine with it, so that says something. If I was Edward, and I had been through all the craziness with Bella, with James, Laurent, and Victoria, and heck, Jasper as well, trying to kill her, I would want to know where she was at all times too. I would be scared silly thinking of all the Big Bads out there that could harm her and/or end her life. Again.

That being said, it would be nice for Bella to be able to relax and breathe. They both tend to blame themselves for things, and it really gets annoying when your partner does that. Believe, I know from experience. You just want the other person to get mad at you, but they blame themselves, and then you end up feeling a whole different kind of guilt. So very annoying. But Edward's intentions are pure, I believe that to the core.

Unless, you know, he turns out to be working for the Volturi or something. I mean, that's plausible, right?

Ha ha, just kidding...
KoriLovesTwilightALot
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:30 am

Postby RaeofDarkness on Fri Jun 20, 2008 1:40 pm

Haha.
Yeah, 11. I was born like, 96 years and 2 days after Edward. I'm turning twelve on Sunday...Oh that reminds me, I have to change my siggy...*snickers*

Yeah, I agree with you on the Edward being controlling thing. I'd be scared silly too, if I was Edward...
RaeofDarkness
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:09 pm
Location: SOMEWHERE, CA, USA

Postby single4edwardcullen on Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:46 am

I don't think it is wrong for them to be that deeply in love!!! For goodness sakes, they are adults for the most part!!! I think Edward is controlling of Bella because she is a DANGER MAGNET!!!! He is basically trying to keep her alive until she can become indestructible in one sense of the word!!!
single4edwardcullen
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:48 pm

Postby smee93 on Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:53 pm

I think at one point you really start to think that Edward is too controlling but in the end he always makes up for it. It's always for her safety and just shows how much he really loves her. There are those who think she hasn't been alone enough to really know life without him, i thought new moon proved that enough and how she couldn't be without him. Edward always listens to Bella's opinions and in the end she is an ADULT. If Edward wasn't around who knows what would be of her right now so he can't blame himself and think he causes all the problems. Jacob just makes Bella feel younger and Edward is more about her safety and real true LOVE.

EDWARD all the way! :D
smee93
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:23 pm

Postby Roxie on Sun Jun 22, 2008 12:55 am

Edward can be controlling, however, Edward has shown that he is willing to change his controlling behaviors to make Bella happy. If it hurts her, he refuses to do it. He has realized she needs her freedom and he can't let the arms that want to hold her become the arms that lock her up.

I think this ability and willingnesses to change (along with his unwillingness to manipulate her for his benefit) is the most valuable.

I don't know if it's healthy, but I do know it's quite in line with first love. Bella had an option, another way out, but she chose Jake. No one, not even Edward, can make her slow down and be single for a while. She's 18 now, so what can you do?
I punched a werewolf in the face.
My Twilight Saga Playlist
My Myspace Page
Roxie
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:01 am
Location: Atlanta, GA

Postby phinecia on Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:56 am

In any normal teenage relationship, EVERYTHING would be unhealthy. That being said, WHAT part of their relationship is NORMAL? Of course, normal is a relative term so what is normal to me may not be normal to you. However, I can, with almost 100% certainty, say that no one has ever seen a vampire/human relationship, so there is NO normal with which to compare Bella's and Edward's relationship.
Edward is controlling and obsessive. He acts out of love though. Nothing he does is out of wanting in any way to harm Bella. Much the opposite, he is the way he is out of pure concern for her safety.
Should Bella date other guys? Maybe. Even if she did, I don't think she would ever find love like that which exists between her and Edward. So why waste time?
phinecia
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:02 am

Postby KoriLovesTwilightALot on Sun Jun 22, 2008 1:12 pm

I agree with Phinecia, most definitely. MAYBE Bella should date other guys. But the fact that she'd probably just flip out and/or dissolve into her famous "catatonic" state makes me think there would be no point for her to do that. There is no way that now, after being with Edward and experiencing his life (a life she desperately wants), anyone could be his equal and be enough for her. I'm on Eclipse, just a few chapters in on my second read of it, and I have to say that Edward seems pretty controlling as he continually forbids Bella to go to La Push to see Jacob. Of course, she goes anyway when he's gone, and gets in trouble later...But the point is, I too would be really put off by my boyfriend forbidding me to see my best friend. I believe, just as Bella does, that Jacob will never hurt her as a werewolf. With words, yes, he has and continuously will, but that's a human trait, and Edward has done it too. But I believe that Jacob would never harm her in his werewolf state. I know Sam hurt Emily, and he imprinted on her...But I still don't think Jacob could.

I'm not Team Jacob, but alas, I don't think he's a bad guy.
KoriLovesTwilightALot
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 12:30 am

Postby Adele on Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:52 am

Is this relationship unhealthy? In literature maybe not, maybe its even ideal but in real life this relationship screams problematic.

The fact that Bella is so wholly transfixed by Edward is troubling. Spending all your waking hours (and asleep now that I think about it) is also worrying. Spending all your time with one person (regardless of gender) at the expense of creating and continuing other friendships is limiting and stupid.) Depending wholly on one person is a desperate state of affairs no matter how much you love them. Bella's gone from a situation where she looked after her mom at the expense of her life and her relationship with her father. Now she isolates herself similary but Edward is the one doing to looking after her. Once her relationship with him deepens all her friendships have been deemed unnecessary. She's the girl who dumps her friends once she has a boyfriend and that is unhealthy and selfish.

Bella needs to be less fixated in her relationships but its not going to happen. She has her savior and her lap dog so she's ultimately happy. She needs to maintain her relationships with other females regardless of her romantic status. She too often uses the boys who are enamoured with her for companionship rather than earning the friendships of those of the same gender. Sure she improves at this is a great problem I have with Bella.
Last edited by Adele on Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
Adele
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:46 am

Postby phinecia on Mon Jun 23, 2008 3:28 pm

Adele, I have to come to Bella's defense with what you said. She is a tried and true tom boy. She doesn't understand girls as well as guys. For anyone who isn't a tom boy, this probably doesn't make sense so let me try to explain. Growing up, I was a tom boy. I loved to get dirty and be in my own world. I hated dressing up and all other girly things. This made it hard for me to understand why other girls were so into those kinds of things. Ultimately, this lead to me not understanding girly girls and not being able to relate to them and therefore not being able to be friends with them. Bella is much the same. She doesn't understand why Jessica and Lauren act the way they do. It doesn't make sense to her. So she gravitates towards the guys who do make sense in their feelings and actions.
phinecia
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 12:02 am

Postby Twilight.Music.Love.<3 on Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:27 pm

I agree with you phinecia! Because im kind of a tom boy myself eventhough i do have some friends that are girls, I grew up with just boys in my neighborhood and they are the ones i hang out with most, Bella doesn't completely loose her friendships with girls i mean she hangs with Alice, i just think Bella feels more comfortable around guys.
Twilight.Music.Love.<3
 
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 2:23 am

Postby Adele on Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:29 pm

As a fellow Tom Boy I completely understand what you are saying, that guys are simpler to converse with, they have less landmines when you are speaking to them. That she felt more comfortable with them. But what about Mike then? She was friends with him and she cut him off effectively too. She only had time for Edward.

Bella irritates me on some level because she allows herself to be swept up by Edward and puts less effort into those friendships. Sure she is unfamiliar with the whole girl friendship aspect of school but she was trying initially, once she was with Edward it felt like she tried less (not that she was trying a whole heap to begin with.) These were the same people that sought her out to make connections with her when she arrived in Folks and yet she kind of cut them off, I particularly felt for Mike (despite her disinterest) as he really liked her as a friend. People always seem to make the effort with Bella not visa verse. She is happy to stay in her shell and as fiercely independant individual this annoyed me no end.
My core frustration with Bella is that she is so reactive in every aspect of her life except when Edward is endangered.

I also think she is much more forgiving of Edward and Jacob's flaws than that of the girls. Or should I say human in general. Her father is a prime example, his continuing love for her mother is regarded with some cynacism yet he reacted better to her mom's departure than Bella did to Edwards'.

Thanks to Ms Truitt for voicing my concerns that her social isolation and then devastation when Edward left. That was the best depiction of the unhealthiness of their bond, and I am sure Edward suffered similarly. However that was a choice she made. A choice to react that badly and cut off all others but Jacob. I really felt for her father in that section of the text, her pain was so encompassing she made it her security blanket. A true sign that this wasn't a healthy relationship (in the beginning).
Adele
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue Jun 10, 2008 6:46 am

My thoughts....

Postby Cuicken on Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:09 pm

Adele, I'm going to have to disagree with you. Bella does hangout with Angela, & Alice, but it's her choice to not hang out with her "other" friends. In my opinon Bella was never even that good of friends with Jessica, or Mike, or really anyone but Angela. She was the outsider when she came to the new school..., she was different, way to mature for girls like Jessica, or at least thats what she felt like (minus the mature thing, i just picked that up when reading), it didn't really seem like she enjoyed hanging out with Mike & all them anyways.

As for Bella & Edward's relationship I do think it is a little bit unhealthy, the controlling thing doesn't really bother me to much, because Edward is just so scared that something might happen to her again like when he thought she was dead. The thing i think is unhealthy is how they ONLY seem to talk about Vampires and that, it kind of bugs me, maybe they talk about more but it's just not in the book? I'm not sure, but it seems that every single conversation (with the acception of jacob & the beggining of twilight) is about Vampires &/or Werewolves.


hahahaa... and as for 11, hhaha sorry i just think this subject is funny. I understand where Bella is coming from, because she doesn't want to feel different about edward after the transformation, i like how there getting married first though, don't ever let boys pressure you!!!






XD XD

I <3 Edward even if he is just a wee bit controlling... .sorry for my uber long post :)
"Hell yes!" :)
"It's about time someone scores around here!" :]



" DAMN IT!" - Edward, end of breaking dawn.
Cuicken
 
Posts: 32
Joined: Sun Jul 13, 2008 1:19 am
Location: Marquette, Michigan

Next

Return to Question of the Week 2 (Part 2)

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

cron